To be fair to the dead...

To be fair to the dead wood Conservatives, I"m writing this column before their gathering is even over. But are Britain"s 50 million car users anywhere near the top of their priority list, or are they just thinking about their next leader who, if he or she lasts as long as the last three, will be irrelevant? Unlike those 50 million motorists and their passengers, who have valuable voting cards up their sleeves!

The time is right for the Tories to bring a halt to Labour"s car-hating antics by opting for a group of pro-motoring heavyweights (Ken Clarke, Steve Norris and Tim Yeo will do, for starters) as joint leaders and rebadging themselves as the "Car"servative Party. Motorist-bashing Labour would be forced out of office by the next election.

So it"s a pity the only thing the self-destructing Tories said, via Transport spokesman Alan Duncan on the eve of their conference, was that it should become illegal to own an uninsured vehicle. Utter nonsense. What if a car is being used safely and legally only on private land, or is tucked away in a garage? Maybe it"s uninsurable, or cover is too expensive. The Conservatives show their ignorance when they say there is no hiding place for uninsured drivers. There is such a place, and it can be quite legal and proper.

The Liberal Democrackpots are being naively optimistic, too, when their Shadow Transport Secretary Tom Brake says that "while congestion would halve under our [road pricing] proposal, four out of five journeys would be cheaper". Frankly, I just can"t work out how there can be a 50 per cent decrease in jams, plus cheaper motoring for 80 per cent of drivers, simply by making car travel more expensive for the remaining 20 per cent.

Meanwhile, Transport Secretary Alistair Darling"s speech at Labour"s conference in Brighton received no coverage, as it was so dull. Entitled Transport Fit For The Future, it contained references to his Labour colleagues, Edinburgh, the House of Commons and making poverty history. Terrorist attacks on public transport (at last!) were next, followed by international trade. Then came the jaw-droppingly poignant quote that went: "Here at home, people depend on transport for work and leisure." Oh, really?

But the most revealing part of the Labour gathering involved Walter Wolfgang, the ageing delegate who was thrown out and humiliated by at least one party boot boy. The bullying and intimidation of Mr Wolfgang was all too similar to the slightly more subtle - but costlier - metaphorical beatings tens of millions of UK motorists suffer every day.